keep the people who loved you first. Keep them close enough that their love becomes your daily practice.

The Sunday Mama Came Back

Thirty years ago today, on a Sunday afternoon in our home in Festac Town, Lagos, I watched my grandmother lose consciousness for the first time. Illness had kept her from church, so she received Holy Communion in her bed. We sat around her, bantering, when suddenly her countenance changed.

Onyelo, the child she named, the gift she waited twenty years for, sprang into action and poured holy water over her. I was a teenager. I did not understand what was happening. I only knew it was serious.

When Mama came back, Onyelo began to cry and left the room. I stayed.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“What happened? Why is Onyelo crying?”

“You passed out.”

“Is that all? There is no need to cry. You shouldn’t cry.”

I had never known death at that time, so her words made no sense to me. Seven days later, on November 8th, Mama died peacefully, the same way she nearly had that Sunday. Looking back, I believe she came back to prepare us. To prepare Onyelo. To prepare me.

The First Woman Who Loved Me Beyond Words

Mama was the first woman I believed loved me more than she loved her own daughter. Her love was beyond words.

I was the one who loved cassava the way she loved it: boiled, soaked overnight, rinsed the next morning, eaten with fresh coconut. I remain in awe of her chewing tobacco, her hot gin, and the way she walked through market stalls as if she were still selling there.

But most of all, I am grateful for her enduring spirit. Never give up. Love people. Serve people. Do good by people.

Seeing Goodness Is Seeing Mama

Thirty years later, I begin something I can only describe as Mama reincarnated. I call it Seeing Goodness. Honestly, it is seeing Mama: her love for people, her desire for the goodness within people, coming to life.

This week begins our countdown to a celebration of her life. And I enter it as Mama’s proud granddaughter, granddaughter of a market woman, granddaughter of a woman who named her first child Onyelo. For whoever thought that one day, this day, this week would come…

Grief does not have to close us. It can open our eyes.

Juliet Iwelunmor

Your Daily Practice: Keep Seeing Goodness

Here is the practice Mama left me:

• Morning: Name one person you will serve today.
• Evening: Write down one goodness you saw in someone.
• Weekly: Tell them what you saw.

Small. Daily. Enough to keep a loved one’s spirit alive in the way you live.

Keep this.

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Fine print: AI was used for formatting. The words belong to the author, Juliet Iwelunmor.