Writing with Juliet Iwelunmor

Some of us are resisting being fried and shaken, being seasoned and oiled, being consumed and destroyed, or being blown into nothingness. We would rather be tough in our essence, tough like kernels that never pop, such that if they eat us, they choke.  

Gail Chandler has a poem about being old maids like pieces of pop corn who remain hard like kernels. It was written in 1974 and I recently stumbled upon it that I felt like reflecting and applying her words to my life these days in academic settings. Things and people have chopped off the softer side of me. I was the one that wanted so many around and in fact opened up my doors so many may walk through. I realized too that many just wanted to use me and whatever they could get out of me and yes they succeeded or so they think. Whether with their career goals or even life goals, so many took so much out that the softness for those unrelated to me washed off. These days, I am not as buttery light as I used to be. The next chapter is being written with wisdom from the past. If in the past for example we wrote one grant and we were exhausted, these days we are writing three and heading to vacation Bible school afterwards because all of these gifts are not mine. You also cannot come close to the gifts anymore unless I invite you and you have to earn that invitation by his grace. Gone are the days where all are welcomed. Not any more. If this is sounding all spiritual too, know that God’s hand is in it. I have seen how he has given you nations for me. Seen too what he means by becoming his light so the world knows his glory. Our circle is so much smaller for his mission and we will remain tough in our essence.