Writing with Juliet Iwelunmor

It’s been 7 months of working in a new and supportive space and the key lessons from my 3 month mark remain the same: 1) Know your worth; 2) Dream about your worth even if for yourself alone: 3) Speak eloquently and proudly about your worth; 4) Leave any space and people who do not recognize your worth; and 5) Still know your worth in any new space and with new people.

In addition, the dreams of any mentor is that one day, their students will surpass them in ways they now turn around and learn from all they do. I wrote my first NIH F-31 the summer following my second year of doctoral studies. It wasn’t funded but I resubmitted and thanks to the support of so many including Collins Airhihenbuwa Rhonda BeLue PhD, CMQ/OE Marianne Hillemeier, I became an NIH predoctoral scholar.

Last Spring semester, I created a grant writing program to help my doctoral student write her own F-31. I called it Dreams and took a creative and joyful approach to teaching grant-writing. We submitted the grant the spring semester of her first year as a doctoral student. It wasn’t funded the first time. We resubmitted the grant last fall, her second year, following a very tough time of transition to a new place and yes at our 3 month mark. We got the score this week. It was flawless. Keep, keep knowing your worth in any space and with anyone…Super proud of what is in store for you Onyekachukwu Anikamadu, MPH, CPH

The above was the short condensed version of what led to this flawless score of 10. The long version is below. Keep reading and if nothing else, please remember to know your worth.

A little over a year ago, I was in a deflated state at work. Winter blues were ending, March and April showers were pouring, spring flowers were blooming and all I wanted to do was resign from work. It seemed like everything was falling apart too for my team. There were four people working with my projects at that time, 2 resigned and one was moving on to other things. All of this was happening as the possibilities of 4 large grant awards were looming in my horizon. I was left with two choices. I could either cave in and just let things continue to crumble or I could try something innovative, something different and of value to me in the long run. I choose innovation and launched my grant writing course that I would call DREAMS. The intent, to mentor my doctoral student who wanted to write an NIH F-31 grant. I was depleted and didn’t have anything else in me. But I figured creating something new would hopefully inspire her and inspire me too.

So I created a 5-week, 2-hour course on grant writing based on poetry and Igbo words that were meaningful to me and enlisted 2 other people that I felt would be amenable to attending such a course on such short notice. We started unaware of what the final outcome would entail but open to all the possibilities of learning together as a group. I used short Igbo words to describe a grant writing journey. Words like Ije which means journey or Oge which means time. By the time the program ended, she submitted her F-31 and was grateful for the opportunity.

Fast forward to August, oblivious to whether her grant was discussed or not, we both had to make a very difficult decision to transition out of our former university in a very short notice. Imagine moving in 1 week for her, as she left where she spent her first year of doctoral studies to a new institution right as the new academic year was beginning. All of this to in a very stressful time. Looking back, I was also in a state of shock but ready to work. We somehow moved 9 grants, 2 students and 5 staff members in a matter of days-weeks. Everyone at the new place pulled up and showed out with this thing called support. I have never truly known support academically than what occurred in those initially hazy days of transition. Still, even with a never ending workload, I amazed myself by agreeing to lead a massive coordinating center grant due within 3 months of our transition. My student finally read her F-31 grant submission and though it was not funded, she too decided to resubmit it again. Our deadlines were days apart in December. How we both pulled this off defies words.

About 2 weeks ago, the score of the grant I led with an outstanding team of investigators was released and it is favorable. Regardless of the outcome, support and trust is what I am so grateful for in this new space and time in academia. But this post isn’t about me. My students resubmitted F-31 was also discussed about 2 weeks ago. She didn’t receive an email so assumed the news was unfavorable. I was away and upon my return asked her to check. She said she was nervous and didn’t want to. I played out a scenario focused on failure. Told her we would resubmit as a post-doc grant and will just go ahead and carry out aspects of the grant now for her dissertation. She asked what about the scenario for success. I said we will hold off on that. Failure seemed easy for now. Then she logged in. I asked to take a picture of whatever she saw and send my way. The first picture showed nothing. I said scroll down, the second, still showed nothing. I said maybe use video or just scroll some more. She turned on her video and for the first time in my life, I was speechless.

I am leaving this one here as a reminder that I pray your mentoring of students is one where they outshine you in every way possible. That was the mentoring I got for Dr. Airhihenbuwa. One where I was giving permission to fly above to the skies always. They say you only need one student for this. You only need one willing to overextend themselves beyond where they see themselves and even you. Students who are prepared to unlock that thing in them their own way. December was a very hazy month. We struggled with this resubmission. Shoot i struggled with so much personally from people who I expected so much more from. That a year later and the rewards are as flawless as blue skies on a sunny day are all consolation I never knew I needed for what the last couple of months have been for myself and those who are along this journey with me. I will be for them in every single way, because I know they will do the same too.

We have come a very long way, my student and I, from a very hasty transition to a very audacious grant submission all while we didn’t even know how to fully settle in at our new place. I shared 5 lessons I learned at the three month mark of our transition. It’s been six months now. The last 3 months were a doozy still and yes, this chapter when I write it will amaze. Yet still the key points of the lessons I shared then still matter for today and maybe forever now which I will repeat again: 1) Know your worth; 2) Dream about your worth even if for yourself alone: 3) Speak eloquently and proudly about your worth; 4) Leave any space and people who do not recognize your worth; and 5) Still know your worth in any new space and with new people.

Grateful to my student for recognizing our worth together. And yes, we are on to the next one. I say this all the time but this next grant is perhaps my most significant contribution yet. It feels good to surround myself with dreamers now…