Writing with Juliet Iwelunmor

To be so fearless in life and death, to still be fearless even when death seems to have the last say, is the legacy many of us wish we keep long after we die. I never knew the man. But like so many, I have been so spellbound by his life and death. The past week had so many Nigerians grieving as if a former long time head of state had suddenly passed away. Most people I know were collectively mourning for the loss of Herbert Wigwe, his wife Chizoba and his son Chizzy. I take solace in the fact that I was once in the same room with him although I didn’t know who he was. It was the wedding of his brother and I followed my cousin to the wedding and left happy and elated that I got to partake in a society wedding. Little did I know that the wedding would be of Herbert Wigwe’s young brother. So while I still don’t know the man or his family, the fact that I have seen him and his family in happier times is a consolation for this loss that I will never wish on any family.

To see not just one coffin, but 2 and three is extraordinary. I have been the bearer of a coffin, seen its journey from the US to Nigeria, watched in disbelief as the man I called my Papa, left this world to become an ancestor, on a journey I would never wish to anyone. So I know what it’s like to ship a coffin on an airplane, wait to clear it with customs and then begin the process that is burial in a traditional sense in Nigeria. I saw the way his towns people welcomed their bodies when they arrived. Seven knockouts were thrown in the air, reminiscent of the time my Papa’s people did the same for him. To carry one coffin was a lot for my family back then. We celebrated 15 years of that burden this past Wednesday that I feel so much compassion for the Wigwe’s. Again, one coffin is a lot. To see three caskets, breaks my heart for this family in ways I really don’t know how to express except to join so many in praying that even in grief, they will know that God still has a plan for them. Herbert, Chizoba and Chizzy’s legacy will live on.

I was in Nigeria last week and to think his home was not to far from our own also broke my heart. Here is a home, I am sure they poured their blood and sweat into, that to think they will never see it in old age, leaves me numb. The house is as magnificent as can be. To the Wigwe’s words will never do. This death is too much for strangers that don’t even know you all. All we can do is pray. Every single one of your family member ran their good race in life. They still live in the depths of who you all are. Their legacy lives and like it has been said, time stood still for the Wigwe’s. We may have not known Herbert in life but we are reading and listening and learning how extraordinary and remarkable he was even in death. Your Chizoba and Chizzy. What a trio. It’s the dream of anyone that even in death, our names and our legacy will remain and carry on where death thought it won. Herbert, Chizoba and Chizzy won death and it’s terrible ways. They live and will live, long after today’s funeral ends.

It’s this legacy that I pray we all get to have even when we die. It’s the reason why I say always, keep, keep, anything about a day. This week of your family tributes and celebrations of the life of Herbert, Chizoba, Chizzy, even in the middle of my own life is a lesson as to why legacies matter. You may have bitter and twisted lies about who and what I am and you all know yourself. But this same week, I am consoled that my name is all I have and the legacy I have built with that name will outlive any evil that comes near me and my own. It’s why I say create your own if you are not happy with your life. You cannot steal or destroy any legacy fortified by God. Death may try. Life too may try, but in the end we know who we belong to. We are not jealous of what you have or own. We have our own for a reason. Oramanya is what you named your home. My eyes saw it and knew here was a man that lived, not concerned with the things others own. Iwelunmor is what I call my own. It is all we have and will keep long after any day or any liar that comes our way. We are Iwelunmor after all. Know our legacy and know peace. Rest in peace Wigwe’s. Your legacy is stellar and powerful even now in death.