Writing with Juliet Iwelunmor

I saw an exercise on reflection today that asked that you imagine yourself as a tree. It asked that you take a deep breath, close your eyes, open it, then draw the type of tree you represent. For me these days, I am like trees bare and open in the winter. How trees survive the cold will forever be an inspiration to me. The exercise produced 2 trees, one rough and the other one more focused. I like to think that life for me these days without reflection is like a tree, sometimes rough, but sometimes focused.

They say reflective writing maybe part of a process that takes place over time. Imagine close to 4 years now. I have been writing here not necessarily clear of my intent but grateful for this form of writing which has allowed me to exceed my expectations with life. There will never be a clear structure. How can there be when i’m mothering 4 children under 11, while figuring out how to conduct a stepped wedged randomized control trial in another continent.

I have been thinking and learning overtime of which I will forever remain grateful. Everything here was written to allow me to first learn. The ideas were from everywhere. Children imagining themselves flying with their feet still firmly planted on the ground. Plants and flowers that bloom and fall to the ground. The lessons of falling rain. Passing storms. All of them have occurred to help me keep do one thing and one thing only, keep something a day.

Today, I embarked on how to fail five times on a month. It’s from Caroline Wanga and the plan is for 5 fails a day. I could not stomach that so I choose five fails a month. So far, I have failed 4 times. I failed miserably today when I tried to raise money for my project which argues that music is a social determinant of health. I thought I made a convincing case and sent the request off and was promptly denied. At first I was upset, but I let that failure sink deeply within. It’s okay it told me. You will certainly lose some on the way towards gaining some. And so birthed 5 fails a month and by the time I was done, I have 4 failures so far of my own. Nothing is ever as it seems hence the need to reflect and keep this experience for me and anyone that cares. In life you will fail. It’s okay. At least reflect on your five failures, then go on and live like a tree.