Writing with Juliet Iwelunmor

As a Ronald McNair scholar, our advisors at Penn stated noted we had to speak with researchers who were doing similar things we were interested in. Dr. Teresa Tassoti asked if I knew Dr. Collins Airhihenbuwa. I said no and she noted that I should go speak to him. The reason, like so many undergrads, I was so confused with the next thing. I took the GRES and did really well which meant that some post grad work would be next, yet I was not satisfied. So I took the LSATs, thinking maybe Law School may be the best option. This was the Fall of my senior year. Dr Teresa sensed my confusion with life hence her recommendation.

We met in his office and I shared a bit of my background and interests with traveling and doing research. He asked have I considered a PhD program. I said I thought that comes after a Masters. He said not really, especially for someone like me whose class credits (over 9hours at that time) was solely research credits. Since I took the lifespan option with my undergraduate degree, I spent most of my time doing research as an undergrad for which he noted was prime for a doctoral degree. I reluctantly applied. The thought of spending more years in State College was frightening. I longed for Atlanta with Emory or San Francisco with Berkeley. I was accepted in January to the doctoral program and so I started my spring semester of my senior year with an admission to a PhD program and Dr Airhihenbuwa as my advisor.

Over the years, our relationship has evolved from mentoring to what Toni Morrison once described as Rootedness. I know who I am without what I do. These days our one-on-one meetings are sort of timeless, bearing witness to dialogue that is benevolent, instructive, protective, and providing a certain kind of wisdom that helps us both soar from the ground to the skies above. They say we are nothing without the elders that lead us. Also to never forget how the journey began. I stand because he first saw what I never knew was in me. I stand because he gave me permission and wings to fly. I stand because he first saw my dreams that I felt were too big, law, health, human rights, cultural rights, yet he patiently waited to help me excavate it to what it has become today. I stand because I learnt the meaning and power of being seen, speaking truthfully, gaining independence, and what it means to dream. Only dreaming saved me in academia and I am nothing, in academic spaces without the wisdom and guidance of Dr. Airhihenbuwa. I stand for his knowing so deep. To now travel with him in this next phase of my career, speaking from the heart about all the ways we diversify research excellence and equity, while pushing to last with stories we tell, our way, is the gift I never knew was in my cards looking back. With Dr. Vedham moderating and the wisdom of Dr. Niang guiding our discussion, this will be sterling.

Yesterday, I had three meetings with two post-docs and a doctoral student. All of whom are brilliant in their own right. They left me feeling at ease with this next phase. It has been a battle to let go and let in new experiences and people. The struggles of the past are real and a comfortable reminder why change is necessary despite all the struggle it brings. It is indeed a beautiful struggle, one that I bless my family, my Zobam, for letting me move with grace to this storytelling portion of my life. One that I gladly begin by sitting on a panel for the first time with Dr. Airhihenbuwa on cancer equity with Dr Niang as well. Again, who knew that I would one day find myself in a dialogue with the one that first told me to reach beyond myself. Find and keep mentors that allow you to evolve through time.