Writing with Juliet Iwelunmor

From now on, the world has you and all theways you begin again, blazing through, your way, for life. The world sees you, as you stand aside, laying your weapon aside. Grants are like poetry to you, and so, as always, begin again. For the world, has only one of you…

Earlier today, the words ‘begin again’ flashed across my eyes as I drove through town with my kids. For about one month now, grant writing has been a struggle. I found myself sharing to a colleague the other day, that my transition made me feel like an impostor even with writing grants. It was never an easy process but there was a sense of liberation I felt I had lost with the move and with so many transitions still occurring with some of the people I used to write grants with, I felt uneasy with venturing into the world of grant writing again.

Nonetheless, I did what I would normally do, and proceeded to write again, only this time with a larger team and a strategic guru whom I know would help me take this grant writing thing to the zenith. This is our third time writing grants together and every time is different but precious as she sees and understands what I need and desire in ways that is as fresh as air. Yet, even with beginning this new journey again, I struggled. The words seemed so hard and writing felt strange.

So I did what anyone focused on creating anything, their way, would do. I prepared and prepared everything I needed to do. I even created a new course to be accountable to myself and others. Then we went into hiding and just kept reading everything we prepared. I felt the words at the tip of my head but not in paper. I wrote poetry instead, some I shared and some I didn’t, just to give myself space. Then I travelled for work, and had 2 nights to myself. I returned home last night and as of this morning, just before noon, there are 14.5 pages (down from 19pages) of my section written. I began again.

Though I struggled and struggled, I began again. What took 2 full weeks of preparing and incubating, with me feeling like I was achieving nothing, led to full circle moment where a draft version of a grant is written. Is it perfect? Far from it. The editing begins and soon, the science will be ready, at least my part, one month and 2 weeks before the deadline. There is method to the art of grant writing. I am perfecting it with every single grant I write, every course I teach too. It’s the only reason, I am prepared always to begin again, dancing always, in praise.