Writing with Juliet Iwelunmor

JoAnne Epps was the interim president at Temple University. The idea of describing her with the word ‘was’ has me stumped and crying for a woman I didn’t even know existed until her death. Yesterday, while scrolling through Twitter, I came across this post that broke me down. I don’t know whether it was the words that ‘she died on the job’ or that ‘she didn’t want it.’ Everything made me sad about all she did and did and somehow still died while doing all she did. Then you scroll through the article and read these words: “Epps had not intended to be a candidate for that job. She had planned on retiring before the board asked her to take on the interim role.”

I took a deep breath and paused just for her. My moment of silence was intense and overwhelming that I cried for a woman that I didn’t know. She made it crystal clear now, how our every day is a blessing, even through the troubles and struggles we endure. The fact that we endure with our souls intact, the fact that we give and give is everything. But now, I look forward to giving back to us, ushering rest for souls weary and deprived. We are no good to them dead. We are all the life that is worth living if only we choose to first live. I am done with playing small. Of what use is my giving if in the end, it leads to my grave, it leads to me passing my last breath in the peak of my day. To imagine even giving your last breath in plain view of everyone, made me cry again for this woman that I do not know that I want to shout to everyone that looks like me and her out there, to scream that you are seen and loved and you dare not give your last breath to anything but those that love and hold you deeply.

Dear JoAnne, I wish I met you sooner that today. I wish I didn’t read about how you took your last breath. I wish you did not give and give and still. I wish so much for you that I know is now in vain. So I will keep this here for all of us still alive. Give to only those that deserve your breath. Give and live. We are no good dead. We know the strifes and all the struggles we have faced and continue to face. They know too. So I pray you live. I pray you rest. I pray you breathe this air, your way, your way. Folks have always said you are going far. You will, but you must go, while you still live. So keep living.